When I first got started in real estate investing, things were not leaning in my favor. I lost everything when the dotcom bubble burst, and like many, was feeling anxious, confused and paralyzed under the enormity of it all. This wasn’t the time to dive headfirst into something new and different. But at the same time, it really was. Despite my own second guessing and feelings of deep self-doubt and apprehension I, simply, didn’t have a choice. I needed to pull myself and my family up and out, get rid of negativity in my life, and get our financial future back on track.
I wasn’t a savvy real estate guru or a guy with unlimited funds to invest—I had nothing, really. But what I did have was a Real Estate Investor Mindset. I’ve written about mindset before because it’s that powerful. Having the right mindset is everything in this industry. If you believe you can do it and can really see your path to success, you’re halfway there.
Once I adopted the Real Estate Investor Mindset, things started to happen. Not only was I finding, funding and flipping great deals very quickly, but the people around me seemed to change. People who had second-guessed me were now cheering me on. Negotiations that had once felt tense were now smooth and streamlined. Lenders seemed more willing—eager, even—to talk to me. Friends and relatives asked questions, and some even wanted to invest with me. My entire path suddenly seemed illuminated and infinitely easier than it had even weeks before.
And it’s because I had the right mindset—it’s contagious. You’re positive, passionate and proactive, and it spreads like wildfire. Think about it: would you rather work with someone who’s enthusiastic, eager and seems to have their ducks in a row? Or someone who’s visibly anxious and uninspired? The choice seems obvious to me.
Here are some tips and tricks I’ve learned from my 15-plus years investing in real estate, and some of the best ways to get your mindset in check and leverage it to positively impact those around you.
5 Ways to Get Rid of Negativity in Business & in Life
1. Create a powerhouse circle of like-minded individuals
Your inner circle doesn’t have to be real estate investors, but they do have to be like-minded, positive-thinking individuals who support you and your business. Look for fellow entrepreneurs, real estate pros and small business owners, for example, who are eager to hear about your latest deals and celebrate even the littlest wins with incredible passion and enthusiasm.
You’ll naturally feed off of these people’s energy and positivity, helping keep your mindset on track, even when things don’t go your way. What’s more, when you do “re-emerge” and engage with outside forces who are less than positive, you’ll know that your tribe is waiting in the wings, cheering you on as you go. That’s often all I need to stand a little taller and smile a little more—and, in many cases, that’s all it takes to break through a particularly challenging situation or personality.
2. Tap a mentor or coach
Likewise, a mentor or coach can help you keep your spirits and mindset high and, equally importantly, can troubleshoot challenging situations and personalities with you. Look for someone who’s been in the industry for awhile, and who’s had some solid successes along the way. Chances are, anything you’re dealing with has popped up at least a few times during their career, and they can provide simple, proven tactics to help you break through.
If you don’t have anyone on your short list, consider heading to a Real Estate Investors Association (REIA) meeting in your community, or checking out MeetUp to see if there are any industry events happening in the next few days or weeks. I’d also recommend checking out the Nick Vertucci Real Estate Academy (NVRA) and my upcoming events around the country. Not only will you meet fellow investors, but I always love chatting with first-timers, too. I’m happy to talk shop and help a soon-to-be success story overcome hurdles that stand in the way. So check out the schedule, and come see me and my team.
3. Learn to read a room—and a person
While your personality is, likely, a big part of why you’ll be successful in real estate investing, it’s important to, also, be mindful of that personality and how it impact individual situations. Let’s say, for example, you’re friendly and gregarious—not bad traits to have,especially in this industry. I’d consider myself to be both. But while these are positive characteristics I’m also aware that, in some situations, my big personality can come across as intimidating or off-putting. It’s rare, but it happens.
That’s why I always focus on, first, reading a room and, second, reading the person or group I’m speaking to. While a friendly and outgoing persona may be the secret to closing many of my deals, I could find myself speaking to a new lender who’s a bit on the quiet side or, simply, wants to get the job done and get out. Exchanging friendly banter isn’t going to help this situation. The more I push, the less likely I am to get what I need and want when I need and want it. But if I sit back and match their level of engagement as well as their quiet tone, chances are I’ll diffuse any negative energy and keep the ball moving forward.
Focus on reading the person and/or the room before diving into your pitch, ask or other talking points. A misstep could turn a productive situation into a toxic one in seconds. But don’t let that impact your mindset—just consider it a temporary pause so you can focus on the task at hand.
4. Listen more than you speak
In that vein, it’s essential to listen more than you speak, whether you’re explaining your new business venture to a friend or asking a lender for cash to fund your next deal. Remember, you’ve got two ears and one mouth—use accordingly.
All too often real estate investors talk, talk and talk some more. I get it. We’re enthusiastic by nature, and want to make sure everything we do is moving us and our businesses forward. But even though it comes from a good place, talking too much can alienate others and make us seem unprofessional or disengaged. Practice solid active listening skills—nodding, verbally agreeing, asking thoughtful questions—and use the cues others give you to better match their communication style (see #3, above). Chances are, this will instantly create a more positive environment and enable your Real Estate Investor Mindset to truly shine through.
This is also an extremely powerful tactic when dealing with friends or relatives who are less than enthusiastic about your real estate investing journey. Let them speak and don’t get defensive. Take it in, offer succinct rebuttals with a smile, and make sure they feel heard and valued, even though you disagree. Sometimes the simple act of them speaking their peace is enough to diffuse the negativity and, next time you meet, they’ll be eager to hear what’s new in your life—real estate investing included.
5. Recognize negativity—but don’t let it get you down
That said, sometimes negativity is just that—unwielding, unbending and unbreakable negativity. My advice is simple: recognize it, and let it go. Understanding that will enable you to focus on the positivity and keep yourself from getting caught in the weeds. Sometimes people are negative or second guess you. Sometimes they just can’t wrap their head around what you’re doing and why. It could be jealousy, fear or, simply, they could be a negative person who loves to play the contrarian. If it’s a lender or other industry resource, simply move on—it’s as good of a reason as any to find a new go-to. If it’s a personal connection or loved one, it’s a bit harder. Your best bet may be avoiding business talk at the table—simple enough.
I realize this is all easier said than done. But, trust me, adopting a Real Estate Investor Mindset and leveraging that mindset to positively impact both your business and those around you will yield meaningful, measurable results. Difficult conversations will turn positive. Challengers will have your back. Solutions will seem to emerge from thin air, helping drive your journey forward. Any negativity or toxicity will start to melt away, motivating you to keep positive and keep steady, help power your investor process.
Mindset is a cornerstone of the Nick Vertucci Real Estate Academy, and something we dig into during every single one of my courses and seminars. It’s truly that important. What never ceases to amaze me about mindset is that yours doesn’t just impact you, it impacts everyone around you, too. So start thinking like an investor now, and use that mindset to grow, expand and positively influence those around you. And don’t forget, we’re always here to help motivate and inspire you. Check out our latest Academy sessions as well as area workshops and seminars. Together, we’ll help you think like a real estate investor, and reap all of the incredible benefits that come with it. See you soon.